Positivity isn’t some woo woo thing that someone started one day, it’s a very powerful tool you can use to your advantage if you choose to do so. Some people’s nature is to be positive and happy all the time, that’s just how they were born, they automatically see the positive in everything.
If you are like me, however, seeing the positive in something negative is something you actively need to work on.
You hear it basically everywhere- just stay positive! But you might be asking yourself
“How do I stay positive??“
In this blog post, I will share with you my 5 tips on HOW to stay positive in a negative situation as well as a list of questions you can use to work with and against those negative thoughts and convert them into a more loving perspective and overall more positive attitude.
Because we all know we are “supposed“ to be positive but no one really tells us how. I will share my personal way through a negative situation, exactly what I am doing when I’m feeling bad and negative about something and how I get to a happier mindset even when everything in life seems to go wrong.
I personally tend to freak out and get super anxious about things very fast. This, of course, happens especially when I encounter something negative in my life. So the first thing I do when I notice my mind is shifting to a negative space is to try to get calm. I will stop, sit down and just breathe for a bit. Usually, I will do a quick meditation where I just focus on my breath and/or imagine myself sitting in a big ball of light. This calms my anxiety and helps me focus and get my mind into the right place.
Writing things down and just letting your thoughts and feelings out will help you put things into perspective. It’s kind of like a “brain dump“ if you will. You just let your thoughts flow onto the paper without any filter. This is your place where you can be open and honest without any judgment.
Letting things out will help you reflect on them later and convert those thoughts into something more positive. Just reading through it after and seeing your thoughts and feelings on paper instead of letting them stay all bottled up inside you will put your mind into the right place to start seeing things as positive in a negative situation.
Change your surroundings
Go outside, don’t just stay in your room or at home all day. Get active and distract yourself. It’s important though to not push your feelings to the side and ignore them but to simply not dwell on them by staying closed off to the world.
Simply changing your scenery can help a lot when you find yourself in a negative headspace. Enjoying the world around you will boost your mood and help you show gratitude for everything beautiful you have in your life.
Let things flow
Simply realizing and believing that everything in your life is happening for a reason and there really isn’t just one way your life is supposed to go can help you tremendously in viewing everything as something positive.
When you get stuck in traffic instead of getting annoyed you can view it as a chance to listen to an audiobook or to finally notice the beautiful nature around you, this can be some time for yourself you can take to just be with your thoughts. You really can’t change or control many things in life but what you do have power over are your thoughts and your reactions towards life’s happenings.
Just letting things happen in their own time without trying to control any outcome will minder your anxiety and stress and help you look at things in a more positive light because you know and you trust that things are going exactly how they are supposed to go.
You can do this during your journaling step by writing it down or just do it in your thoughts. Simply reflecting on what your thoughts and feelings are will help you put things into perspective and see them more clearly. This is where the list of questions I put together come into play.
Questions to ask yourself to stay positive in a negative situation
These apply to any situation whether it be a flat tire, a breakup, a fight with a loved one, stress at your job, your kid bugging you, your thoughts and anxiety spinning out of control, getting stuck in traffic, the list could go on and on and on.
Reflecting on the situation and asking yourself these questions will help you put things into perspective and it will make you think more rationally. As humans we tend to get stressed over things very fast but stressing and getting anxious over something you probably have no control over is doing way more harm than good.
Even when we think we are helping ourselves by trying to solve the problem and obsessing over it, being anxious and worried about something will most likely just make the situation worse for you.
If you find yourself feeling negative, judgmental, anxious, whatever it may be, ask yourself these questions to put things into perspective and to figure out how you can control your thoughts and emotions around it and how to make yourself feel better.
Chances are, the thing you are worried and stressed out about really isn’t as bad as it first seems. There will always be something positive if you make the conscious decision to find and hold onto it.
We like to hold onto our negative feelings, it’s like we don’t want to feel better. We don’t want to see the positive we just want to feel angry, sad or jealous in that situation. Ask yourself if that is something you tend to do.
I get it, trust me, I do. It’s comfortable to stay in that negative mindset because it’s a lot easier than to reflect and to see the positive when you really don’t want to. It’s hard to forgive someone and see them or the situation with love when you feel like you have been wronged.
It’s easier to stay mad at someone or to resent the situation you are in than to see the positive in it because that requires work and changing your mindset and habits.
Humans don’t like change, we like our routines and our usual thought processes, we don’t want to change because change is scary to us, the unknown is scary because we don’t know what is on the other side.
This is why a lot of people frown upon the more spiritual life, they just don’t know better. They have their way of thinking, feeling and dealing with situations and they don’t want to change that, they don’t want to try something new that is out of their comfort zone and out of their usual behaviors. It takes courage to change something you have done one way your whole life.
But at the same time, it’s not going to bring you any further in life. Feeling negative and bad about something will only do that, make you feel negative and bad and let’s be real here, who wants to feel that way?
Many people just think that if something bad happens, they are supposed to feel bad about it, they are required to feel negative because that’s what you do right? Something shitty happens, you feel shitty about it. And to an extent that is true and in my opinion healthy. The problem starts when you stay in that mindset.
Deep down we don’t want to feel shitty about something but it is more comfortable to stay there, to stay in that familiar place, to keep having those bad thoughts, to keep those same behaviors and patterns towards any bad situation you ever encountered than to reflect on it and work against it. Because it takes work and time and dedication but it is so worth it in the end, it will lead you to a much more happy and fulfilled life.
So next time you find yourself in a negative situation or headspace, take those steps I mentioned above and ask yourself those questions to stay positive even when things are supposedly going wrong.